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CHAPTER 1

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GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

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Once upon a time, a tiny human baby was born. She was named Maggie, by her very nice human parents, the Midnights. And so her full name was Maggie Midnight. Sadly, she was a very short lived human baby. The day she was born was her last. Home from the hospital, asleep in her crib, she was devoured by Biological Mom (mine, not hers), and replaced with me. It happens much more often than you'd think.

Know anybody who's a little weird? Maybe a brother or a sister. Maybe your child. Maybe a parent. Maybe even...YOU. Monsters all. Monsters like me. But don't worry, it doesn't mean we're bad. Just means we might eat you if we get too hungry.

By the way, that wasn't a joke. If my Mom (adopted* Mom) wasn't such a great cook, I'd probably be eating people right now. But her lasagna tastes better than people. Again, not a joke.

* (I know adoptive is the correct term, but I like "adopted" better. Sue me! [Also you must admit that in a sense it was me that adopted her, and not the other way round.])

When I was seven years old, I met my baby brother Jake (when he was born). We'll start the story there. For lack of a better place. But we won't stay there too long. Seven year old me is not all that interesting. Still that was my first solid memory of anything weird ever happening. And yeah, it all revolved around Jake.